The Future is Stupid


How many fucking iPads do you need, Jean Luc?

Then I realize my own desk is half buried with Kindles and shit. So many Star Trek things have this weird disconnect between technological prescience and how people actually use technology. Case in point: Our future back then featured handheld, flatscreen, touch sensitive computers, but for some reason they still passed them around and piled them up like clipboards or papers in an inbox. Captain Picard can’t be bothered to open a new tab. Haha, silly old Star Trek.  It seemed really fucking stupid until decades later and half the surfaces in my house are covered with the damn things because yeah, that’s apparently just what happens.

Meanwhile, we’ve still got combination communicator/tricorders that fit in a pocket without seriously messing up the lines of a suit. Hey, did you know you can mod your cell phone camera to act as a rudimentary Geiger counter? It’s almost completely useless unless you’re antiquing for uranium glass.


As of now it’s been about twenty years since I slapped my first ugly website across the face of the internet, and a decade since I let it lapse in pursuit of the combination of hubris and blind retard luck one might facetiously call my career. I was blogging back before someone coined a dumb neologism for it, so I guess I should feel some sort of obligation. This Sorta Sketchy thing has been waiting empty for a few months now, so it’s probably about time I got around to filthying it up. It’s stupid to be intimidated by the potential of a blank page when the rest of the book is going to end up covered in rude opinions and shitty cartoons. I’ll get right on that.

Solidsharkey has long since been sniped out from under me, but I honestly hated the old url so much I’m almost grateful. It’s probably better off as an online casino or whateverthefuck it is these days. At least this one’s an appropriate anagram of my name. I also regged, but that anagrams out to “Scott Sharkey Lotions Us,” which isn’t quite what I had in mind.

I’ll hang on to it in case I start my own line of medicated unguents.